I just needed to move back home for a little while. I really just needed to see that I wasn’t needed back home and I’ve seen it. I realised how wrong I was about Sydney and how it wasn’t as bad as I kept making it out to be. Looking back on our time together I can see it really was the happiest time of my life. Even though I hated Sydney at the time I really was still happy because I was with you. I never dated anyone in a romantic sense down here and I still haven’t because I’m honestly not interested in looking for someone else. Isn’t that love?

I know you can’t trust my words and that you don’t believe me anymore but this is the truth. Why did we break up over the phone? Isn’t it just silly and insane to end a three year relationship over the phone when I asked to meet you? Don’t you remember any of the good times that we had together? Do you really think that I would somehow just forget you and us so easily just because I moved away?

We had such a great relationship, we had such a great connection that was there right on the first date, we had deep compatibility and chemistry and we both wanted the same thing in life (even if you don’t want to believe that). I wanted to marry you, I still want to marry you, we could’ve got married this year and then had a baby next year. I could’ve moved back and it all would’ve been smooth sailing precisely because I wouldn’t look back at Melbourne anymore because I’ve seen what I needed to see.

But now we’re both starting over again, isn’t that completely insane and silly? We were together for three years and we aren’t getting any younger. You made up all these things about me in your head to justify breaking up when you weren’t even here with me last year, how are you even able to tell if what you had in your head is objectively true or made up?

You said I didn’t want to commit but I suggested a wedding song for us early on. You said I kept you in limbo but I kept myself in limbo too. Why couldn’t we compromise and say that I’ll stay in Sydney as long as I get a chance to move back home for a while and then come back? That was my intention all along and I still feel that way. I know if the situation was the other way around and you wanted to move home for a bit I wouldn’t just give up on you.

I get it, I wasn’t the best boyfriend at times and the reason for that is because I kept looking back. I kept thinking of Melbourne and it kept holding me back but I don’t feel that way anymore nor will I flip flop about it again. All I want is a future with you in Sydney, that’s it.

What we had was really great and I honestly think that a lot of people who get married don’t ever get to experience what we had together. Marriage was always going to be the next step, I was always going to come back to you.

I just needed some time.