I’m not sure where I’m going with this.

If communication breaks down between you and your partner, especially if you are not in the same physical area then it is highly likely that both people will start to assume things of the other partner, even if they aren’t true, because people’s minds tend to go to dark places and this can lead to self-sabotaging of relationships. Sometimes it might get to the point where someone will convince themselves that their partner must be doing something wrong, despite not being able to actually see what their partner is doing. “Oh, he is definitely going on dates.” one might think, when in reality he’s just at home playing videogames after work.

At this point trust could quickly start to erode in the relationship. At this point it is important to try to mitigate this by keeping the lines of communication open and communicating frequently to keep the other partner assured. If both people are texting each other “I miss you”, obviously they miss each other. One partner should take a leap of faith and be clear with their intentions, for example “I still miss you, I want to come back to you, I haven’t looked for anyone else.”

Once one partner starts to make up false stories in their head they will do whatever they can to believe that those stories are real. They will likely talk to friends and family and try to convince themselves they are right, even when they can’t actually see what is going on in the first place and have absolutely zero factual information. When met with the truth, they and their loved ones will completely ignore it all. There are always two sides to every story and it is torturous when no one believes your side of the story, especially when you have chosen not spoken ill of your partner to your loved ones because you have faith in them.

Imagine knowing what the truth is and having other people tell you what the truth is, when their truth is actually completely made up because they need to make up some copium. Human beings can be absolutely shit when they want to be.

If one partner is particularly impatient (for example a woman who wants to have children) it is highly likely that she could start to worry or become anxious which is why it’s very important to keep her reassured, because the last thing you want is for her to make up a false story about you in her head so that she can find an excuse to end the relationship. If she is impatient and anxious and she thinks you are going out on dates, she will hop on the dating apps and monkey-branch into a new relationship.

Even if you can’t see what your partner is doing, the decent thing to do is to at least give them the benefit of the doubt, especially if you have been together for a decent amount of time (e.g. three years). Patience and faith in your partner is also extremely important in relationships.

Sometimes one partner needs to do something that could be very hard on the relationship. For example one might need to move interstate temporarily for work, or to spend time with ageing parents. If both partners are serious about the relationship they will be happy to at least try long distance or they may even try to move together, obviously. If one person at least suggests long distance or moving together temporarily this is a sign that they still want to stay together and keep trying, and the other partner should at least listen and be open to the idea. If the partner who needs to move says that it’s temporary they need to keep their word and they need to be clear about a timeline. For example if they suggest moving for a year they need to stick to that timeline or be very clear about their intentions.

Patience comes into play here because if the other partner doesn’t move and stays where they are — and if the other person has suggested to try long distance or moving together — the person who hasn’t moved needs to put some trust and faith into their partner and believe that they will come back to them and not start chatting to other guys whilst their partner is away. This is especially important if the relationship has been going for a while (e.g. three years). Why is it important? Because you have both invested three years of your life into this relationship then you aren’t getting any younger and if you want kids you’re both just wasting more time.

And that is why a stitch in time saves nine; if the impatient person had have just waited for the amount of time the other person specified, the relationship could’ve continued and marriage could’ve happened in the fourth year of being together and then the fifth year could’ve resulted in having a kid, but no, all that went out the window because they were impatient and made up stories in their head.

A lack of communication can really lead to a complete and utter mess.