I gave you three years of my life too. I stayed in a city that I really disliked to be with you. Because I wanted to keep going with you. Because I wanted to make things work. Because I actually want to marry you, even if you are with someone new.

But when it came time for me to do something I needed to do, you just gave up? You told people we were done last year but we missed each other, we wanted to talk to each other, we were messaging each other. I wanted to tell you things that were going on, I wanted to tell you how I started to miss things about Sydney and that I could see myself coming back. But I felt like you weren’t interested because you told people we were done. I wasn’t sure what you wanted.

I know you were scared that I wouldn’t come back when I left. I’m sorry, I really needed to go. I should’ve reassured you that there was a chance that I could come back, even if that chance was small. I’m deeply sorry I didn’t. At the time even I wasn’t sure what I was going to do or how I would feel and I didn’t want to let you down. But in all honesty, only a month or two after moving back I started to realise that things didn’t feel right for me anymore.

I gained the perspective I needed by going back. I just needed some time to make sure my family were going to be ok without me and to say goodbye to where I came from. That’s why I came down in the first place.

When I look back at our relationship and how we:

• Felt comfortable with each other right from our first date
• Spent so much time together right from the start and how that time spent together never really dwindled
• Were completely open to taking an interest in each other’s interests
• Were always happy to do everything together
• Got through lockdown without any issues at all, without feeling like we needed time apart
• Said the exact same thing at the exact same time semi-frequently throughout our entire relationship
• Thought the same thing at the same time throughout our entire relationship
• Did things in parallel even when we weren’t in the same state and didn’t know what the other person was doing (like watching Smallville)
• Had so many firsts together in both NSW and Victoria
• Introduced each other to friends and family early
• Were basically on the same wavelength the entire time we were together
• Grew together in various ways
• Just felt so right being together

Do you remember any of this, or have you chosen to erase it all from your memory by making new memories with this new guy?

I just can’t believe that you would block me completely. I know you want to move on but I thought we could move on together. I thought our relationship was on a completely different level than most. I thought what we had was extremely special.

You aren’t the only one that’s been hurt from this. Were you talking to this new guy when you ended things with me in September? Is that why you said you didn’t think it’d be a good idea to see each other when I asked you? When the actual reason I wanted to meet was to make plans about coming back?

If I saw you in September I know that it would’ve worked out and those three years we spent together wouldn’t have been for nothing. We could move fast because we have the history together, we have a solid foundation don’t we? All the memories we have from those three years spent together? We both wanted to marry each other, and this is how it turned out?

I guess you must really have a good connection with this new guy if you want to try with him. You’ll probably get married this year or early next year. It’s incredibly lucky that you’ve found something better than what we had when I know we both thought what we had was magical. That’s just my luck I guess.

I’m sorry I broke the promise by leaving. You never said I couldn’t leave temporarily then come back and stay. You know how big of a sacrifice it is. I needed to go. If it was the other way around I would’ve supported you and put faith in you because that’s what a partner does. I’m sorry you couldn’t trust me to come back.

You came back to me at the end of 2022, it was only fair I’d come back to you too.

After all, you really are all that I want.